I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
