he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
