Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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