i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
