hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
