I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
