theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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