please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
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