chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
