He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
