my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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