I'm gonna have a badass scar
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
