I cockslap morals
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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