Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
