so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
