i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize