i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
