The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize