Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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