that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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