Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Randomize
