just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
