Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
