so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We are all done wearing pants today
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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