I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Send help, water and tortillas.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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