Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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