I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
