Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
