just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
