She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
high people should be assigned attendants
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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