I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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