Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize