Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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