"it" just moved
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Pooping to opera.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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