I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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