This girl is more easily done than said...
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize
