Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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