D3 body, D1 cock
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Is Oprah even human
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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