Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
