I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
