i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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