Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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