Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
