Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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