did you get engaged???
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
