dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
