The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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