Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
