ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
