apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
