just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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