So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
