Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
