i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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