Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
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