I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
