so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
