you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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