Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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