You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
