If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
