I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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